“Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far.” ― Jodi Picoult

anxiety. this word has held me hostage for a few months now. i have struggled with anxiety since i was a teenager, but it comes in waves. it has been years since i have had to face it full force again. it is easy to forget just how life altering it can be.

for anyone who is reading this, and anyone who knows me, all of these thoughts i ramble about may surprise you. i can promise you that the side you do know of me is very real too. the free-spirited, happy girl. the girl who makes you laugh, the girl who enjoys life to the fullest, it is not a facade. i do not do well sharing my darker moments with the world, but in order for me to conquer them, i need to get them out, and that is what i am doing here.

so what can i do? today i am going to force myself out of my cave, the safe haven i call home. i am going to tell myself that everything IS ok. get myself dressed, and out into the world. even if it is only for a moment, an hour, a couple of hours. whatever i can manage. to not think of anything further than one step at a time, that is the goal.

so, here i go. wish me luck. i can do this. i CAN do this. what i cannot do is stop living. stop functioning. stop trying. stop believing. so i will do what i can, in this moment, and that will be enough.

lots of love to you all.

<3